summer's in the air and baby heaven's in your eyes
by dorkickassmeadowes
Summary: For Becky. Summer sun, something's begun but uh, oh those summer nights.
1. Chapter 1

The grass was sticky under the sun, and tickled the back of Lilyt play Quidditch in a Muggle park, they though it was unclear which s life.

**came a voice from above her, and her eyes snapped open. Scorpius Malfoy was bent over her, nose mere inches away from hers. **

**she mumbled, and turned her face away from him. **

**don a shuffling noise told her that he had sat down beside her, **

**t heard the van yet,**you know, the ice cream music?Potter if you

**She turned her face away from the glare of the sun, and opened her eyes. His jeans were designer, she noted. Figured. **

**she mumbled. Something was crawling up her face, and she swatted it away easily. He glanced down at her. **

**he explained, leaning back on his elbows, and this is a direct quote couldnll go to the shopss **

**Lily finished for him. She rolled over so she lay stretched out on her stomach, grass tickling her bare skin where her vest top had ridden up. She was very beautiful, he noticed, with her long and messy red hair fanned out around her pale neck like the sunset. **

**he asked, **

**She opened her eyes slowly, and found that his blue eyes burned brighter than the sun. **

**she replied lazily, and found herself adding in her head . **

**she mumbled, **

**The bees buzzed around them, and the shouts of the Weasleys were as loud as ever, but for some reason everything was quiet and dull to Scorpius, except Lily. She was like some sort of flame, crackling on the grass, and he couldns Als fifteen, and shes sister. **

**Lily waved him away, and he got to his feet. re going to drop one, please make sure it **

**ll do my best." **

**He laughed, and ruffled her hair, a gesture from their younger years, one that had withstood the strange air that had settled between them recently. **

**s you who needs to brush up on their Muggle pop culture,ve just been the summer sun, but Lily felt her cheeks burn and redden. That bloody boy.**


	2. Chapter 2

The bass of the Wizard Sisters song was thumping so loudly it hurt his head, so he snuck outside, to the cool corridor, and rested his head against the wall. The stone eased the tension in his temples. To his surprise, he found Lily there, on her knees with her head in a plant pot. She'd been sick. "Come to gloat?" she said shakily, wiping the back of her mouth with her hand, "You chucked me, what? Two days ago? And I'm already a mess. Silly Lily – couldn't even last a week boyfriendless without going off the rails." "You're not-" he sighed, and crouched beside her. He felt guilty, he really did, but it was easier this way, wasn't it? To rip the metaphorical plaster off quickly? Before the skin underneath grew soft from being away from the air? He was leaving Hogwarts, leaving her, and they couldn't do long distance. It wasn't in their makeup. They were lightning bolts, and they couldn't be that from across the country, they couldn't be that through owl post and weekend visits to Hogsmeade. What they had was intense and he felt that space wouldn't do them any good. And there was the issue that had weighed on the back of his brain since it happened, the three words he'd said that she couldn't say back. He loved her, he'd always loved her but why should he invest his time and emotions into someone who gave nothing back? It didn't make any sense. But here she was, face pale and damp with sweat, having downed three cocktails and half a pint of mead. She had to care, surely? "You're not off the rails," he said slowly and sadly, and she laughed bitterly. "I'm certainly not on them," Lily paused, and looked up into his big blue eyes. They gleamed in the cool light of the corridor, and made her want to cry. "I really am sorry, you know." "Sorry for what?" he replied, resting his hand on her back. The domesticity of the movement comforted her, and she was almost tempted to rest her head on his shoulder. The ice queen inside her, however, the bit of her that was not her mother or her grandmothers but entirely her own, held her back. It was humiliating enough that he had seen her like this. "For not being able to say it," the words seemed to slip out of her mouth without her realising, and she wished with all her heart that she could take them back, "I really am so sorry. It's just – I mean, it's not an issue with my family or anything, it's not that at all, I think…I think they're so important, those words, the most important ones in the world. And I can't just throw them around, see? I can't…I can't say them to someone who might one day not mean them anymore. Does that make sense?" He took his hand off her back and wiped the sweat from his palm on his robes. She was a pathetic sight, all tousled hair and frighteningly pale face. She was so beautiful it hurt to look at her. "Yeah, but it's stupid," Scorpius fixed his gaze on the way the plant's leaves shone, "If you think like that then you're never going to love anybody, don't you see? It's stupid." "It's not stupid!" Lily snapped, "Stupid is throwing your heart around and letting people play fast and loose with your emotions! Stupid is using that bloody phrase so much it loses all meaning! Stupid is chucking a girl because you told her you loved her in the middle of a make out session against a tree, and she had the audacity to say 'actually mate, you know what, I'm not really in a position to be responding to that right now, but I'll get back to you'. That's stupid!" "You're drunk, Lily." "And you're boring me," she struggled to her feet, and her quip lost its sharpness as he helped steady her, hands on her waist. "Bugger off," she mumbled, head swimming. He dropped his hands, but did not move. "It's easier this way, don't you see?" He had to make her see, had to make her understand. Even if it was like this, a drunken argument in the corridor whilst the rest of Slytherin danced 'til dawn, he had to get her to see why he'd done it. "No," she replied coldly, "I don't see. And if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go and see my brothers please and thank you." Lily put one foot in front of the other, and nearly lost her balance. She wobbled precariously, and Scorpius caught hold of her elbow, pulling her upright. "You're not in any fit state to be traipsing up Gryffindor Tower, Potter." "Bugger. Off." "No," he let go of her elbow, and she sank back against the wall. Tears were swimming in her big brown eyes, but he tried not to let it bother him (a futile task). "You've got to hear me out here." A sudden wave of sadness swept her up, because she really was going to miss him, miss his chapped lips and his shitty pop records and his complaints about the richness of dessert in the Great Hall at dinner time. She closed her eyes with a sigh. "Only," she said softly, "because I can't walk away." "Right. Right, okay. Okay. Right-" "Spit it out, Malfoy." "I love you," he started, and she laughed sadly. "I think I can understand why you won't or can't say it back, or whatever. Honestly, I think I do," he was still directing this at the lush green leaves of the plant pot, because her purple rimmed eyes made his heart ache in his chest like a bruise, "Or at least, I'm trying to understand. It's not just about that, though. I'm leaving Hogwarts-" "I'd gathered," she remarked drily. He ignored her, and carried on. "I'm leaving, and Al's leaving and Rose is leaving, and we're – right, so the thing is, is that I'm not really sure who I am if I'm not Scorpius Malfoy, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain and Boyfriend of Lily Potter. And I'm telling you this because I've had half a bottle of Firewhiskey over the course of the last two hours, and because I'm madly in love with you, but mainly the Firewhiskey thing, and I-" "Don't give me that fresh start bullshit," she snapped, eyes on fire. "It's the truth," he said calmly, and she let out a cackle so broken and bitter it felt like a punch to the gut. "It's bollocks." "The only person talking bollocks here is you, Lily," he replied grimly. "Oh, bite me, Malfoy." "Merlin's balls, what are you? Twelve?" She smirked, and stood up straight. Everything swam in front of her eyes, but she couldn't let him have the last word, she'd rather die than let him have the last word. "And a half," she added, before leaning over and vomiting in the plant pot again. Scorpius was torn between rolling his eyes and holding her hair back for her, but in the end decided to do nothing. Hands in pockets, he merely stood there until she'd finished, listening to the slow thud of the Pumpkins song they were playing in the Common Room. "It's your last end of year party…" a small voice came from where she crouched, head in hands. He noticed she was crying, and that too felt like a stab wound. "You should go back…" "Six out of seven's not bad," he replied softly, and she let out a little broken sob that he felt in his bones. The enormity of it all had hit her with such force that she felt she was drowning, and the only comfort was that he dropped to his knees beside her, and draped an arm around her bony shoulders. "Shit, Potter, don't cry," he mumbled into her ear, and that only made her cry more. It was sort of cathartic, the more she thought about it, it felt like a long hot shower after six hours on the Quidditch pitch. She sobbed and sobbed until there was a damp patch on his shoulder where her cheeks had been. "Finished?" he asked with a sad smile as she hiccoughed into silence. "I feel a bit better now," she mumbled, head still resting in the hollow of his neck. "About the drunkenness? Or the break up?" She thought for a moment, noticing how red her hair looked against his pale skin. "The break up," she whispered, "I feel a bit better about the break up." "Only sleep makes people feel better about drunkenness," he said wisely, and she nodded, still not moving. They were sitting now, leaning against the wall and both feeling exhausted. "I could sleep here," Lily murmured, "right now, I could just…drift off." She paused, and glanced up at him for the first time since she'd cried, "Would you carry me to the dormitories if I did?" He laughed under his breath. "You know I wouldn't." "Meanie," she sighed, and slowly, he lowered his head so it rested on the top of hers. "You don't want to sleep here, kid. Stinks of vomit." "True." He wanted to laugh, but it seemed inappropriate, so instead, he rested his hand on her knee like he used to when they first started seeing each other, sat in front of the fire in the Common Room and listening to the Zabinis argue about the radio station and the sound of the rain on the roof. "We should go back in," she mumbled, and he nodded. "We should." "If we go back in…" the words felt heavy on her tongue, but she knew she had to say them, "are we still broken up?" For a while he did not say anything, but he pulled her closer into him, so her head rested against his collarbone. "I don't know," he murmured in response, "do you want it to?" "I don't know what I want," she whispered, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It was raw, this new thing that lay between them, and it stung like when you pick a scab off a little too early and the air burns your newly formed skin. "I want you," she continued, "but I don't…I mean, we can't right now, can we?" The answer came so easily it surprised him. "No," he muttered into her hair, "no, we can't. Not right now." A sad sigh slipped from her lips, and she slowly stood up, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. A hand went to the pocket of her jeans, and she withdrew her wand. "I'm never drinking this much again – Evanesco – but, Scor?" "Hm?" "Doesn't have to end tonight, does it?" She put out her hand, small and shaking, and he took it. She pulled him up, but did not let go of his hand. "No, it doesn't have to end tonight." She wrapped an arm around his waist and he draped his over her shoulders, and together they walked back to the party. It was impossible to tell in the shadows where one started and the other ended. 


	3. Chapter 3

**author's note: part three of ****becky's**** five part present. i tried to make it fluffy, but it…didn't quite work out like that. swearing and mild sex references and angst ahead. also you get bonus points if you spot the gilmore girls references in this.**

* * *

The heat was almost oppressive, and she was sticky with sweat. Her radio was tuned to some shitty pop station, and turned up to the loudest it could possibly go. A Wonder Witches track was playing, and she lay on her bed in a vest and shorts with the windows wide open, and _still_ felt like she was drowning. Lily hated summer – she preferred the crispness of autumn, the warm oranges and yellows and the crunch of leaves under her feet. The glare of the sun and melted tarmac did nothing for her, bored her to death. She wanted lukewarm evenings where the stars came out before the sun went down, and the crackle of a Bonfire Night firework in the cloudless sky. Summer felt like waiting, and she couldn't be patient to save her life.

"Lily!" her mother called up the stairs, "Oi, Lily!"

She made a groaning noise in response, one that informed Ginny her daughter would not be coming downstairs off her own back.

"Al's just arrived, you tosser, come and say hello!"

The front door slammed shut, informing Lily that her mother had left the house (probably to go to some sort of Quidditch function). Slowly, she peeled herself from her bed and half stumbled out of her bedroom and down the stairs. In the hallway of her home stood her brother, pink from the summer sun and beaming at her. It was the first time she'd seen him since Christmas, and stood beside him with an oh-so-charming smirk on his pointed face was –

"Shit," she mumbled, suddenly very aware of how messy her hair was, "Scorpius."

Albus rolled his eyes. In a poor imitation of his sister's voice he said "oh hello Al, how was Europe? Did you have a nice time? Get into any fights? Sorry I haven't written I was so busy with school," and then, in his own lower tone – "it's _fine_, Lily, don't worry about it. I was busy too, I bought you presents and everything."

"Shut up, Al," Lily said suddenly, breaking from her reverie. It was the first time she'd seen Scorpius since Easter, and she felt sick to her stomach.

"I got you presents!"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What kind of presents?"

"Nice ones."

"Wow, so specific."

"Ones I paid for."

Lily, conscious of Scorpius' grey eyes on her, jumped the last two steps and into her brother's arms.

"That's better than when James came back from Paris, d'you remember?" she said into Albus' shoulder. He laughed, and pulled away.

"You stink."

"Thanks."

With a smirk, Lily bounded up the stairs, ignoring Scorpius on purpose. He didn't say anything (_was there anything _to_ say now?_) and instead stared at his shoes.

"You had a nice time, yeah?" she asked, pausing for a moment.

"It was great," Al replied, "me and Scor are going to see Dad – Rose is there already to see Ron. You could come with us, if you fancy it?"

She weighed the options up in her head quickly – pros of going to London with Al and Scorpius; possible free food, funny stories from their travels, presents, haven't seen Dad since yesterday, show Scorpius what he's missing (flirt with intern? Better not - Dad might sack him), pop in on Dominique. Cons – will have to spend extended period of time with Scorpius, it's too bloody hot, will get presents and hear stories eventually, Dominique might not be in, _it's too bloody hot_.

"You willing to wait whilst I have a shower?" she asked, and Albus shrugged.

"We'll have a cup of tea-"

"We will not!" Scorpius cut in. It was the first time since Easter that she'd heard his voice, and she'd forgotten how much she liked it. It was lower than her brothers', and slightly croaky, and she liked the way everything he said was loaded with meaning, that he never said what he didn't _feel_, that he didn't believe in. She liked that (_she couldn't say the other word – it hurt too much_).

"It's too bloody hot," Scorpius explained, "You must have some lemonade or something, right?"

"Dunno, mate," Al shook his head, "I don't live here anymore, and I haven't been here for six months – Lily, have we got any-?"

"In the pantry," she said quickly, pointedly looking anywhere but Scorpius, "I'll be down in fifteen."

Albus nodded, and Lily ran up the stairs to the bathroom, two steps at a time. Since he spoke, Scorpius' eyes had not left her once.

* * *

There was a knock on her door as she debated using a Drying Charm on her hair (what was the point, when the sun would do just as good a job?).

"Who is it?"

"Me."

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific than that," she said coolly, even though her heart was in her throat and her head was spinning (and not just from the heat).

"It's me, Lily, can I come in please?"

"Not really, no."

"We need to talk."

She ignored him, and decided not to bother with the Drying Charm. Now, should she stay put until he got bored and went back down to Al, or should she swan out like the ice queen she was _(she was melting in this heat_)?

Lily didn't have time to decide – Scorpius came in anyway, hands in pockets and a sad half smile on his face.

"Sorry…" he mumbled, "I just – Al thinks I've gone to the loo."

"Charming," she said coldly, leaning against her dressing table. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"You wanted to talk," she snapped, "so talk."

"I love you," he began, and she laughed.

"Bollocks!"

"Lily are you going to listen, or are you going to swear at me?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Bit of both, I think."

"You can't. Choose, please."

"I've every right to swear at you, you know," she told him shortly, "Easter was _horrible_, what you did to me was _horrible_."

"I didn't mean-"

"I nearly failed most of my end of year exams, you know – Professor Bulstrode had to take me aside, have a word. Lily, she said, Lily we're concerned about your progress, or rather your lack of it. Do you know how fucking _humiliating _that was? She was all 'oh are you having family issues?' which is _bullshit_ because if I_was_ she would know about it because my dad's Harry _bloody_ Potter," she was on a roll now, all the bitterness she'd been storing up since he chucked her last June was spilling out like oil on the ocean, sticking to Scorpius' feathers and choking him, "and I had to explain that no, it wasn't family issues at all, I was just having an existential crisis because I thought my ex-boyfriend and I were getting back together because at my cousin's birthday party we shagged in the field behind my grandmother's house, which is probably quite unhygienic the more I think about it but that didn't cross my mind at the time because I thought _finally_, finally he has been able to move past the fact that I don't throw my 'I love you's around like fucking petals or something, _finally_ he's realised that what we've got, what we had was actually really bloody great, the best thing in my life actually, sod the possible Head Girl-ship and the straight O's at OWL, sod all that, being with Scorpius was the best thing I've ever done so far in my short and shitty life, and_finally_ I might get that back and then do you know what happened? First of all he didn't write to me for weeks, didn't reply to any of my owls, didn't come to any Hogsmeade weekends, we had _no communication for six weeks and then one day I open my Witch Weekly to find him splashed over page six with a fucking Muggle supermodel_."

And to finish her speech, she threw a perfume bottle at his head. He caught it, with the deftness of someone who had been playing Chaser all his life, and for a while they stood there in silence. He tossed the bottle from one hand to another, and every time he did so she flinched in fear that he would drop it. Ironic, really, because mere moments before she'd intended for it to collide with his face, to smash and tear at him so he could feel even a tiny bit like she did in April.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, in a small, slightly tired voice that she did not recognise as his, "I really am. I've been – I am _such _a twat. I didn't realise Al was coming back here when I went to see him this morning. I'd have never have come here if-"

"So you wanted to ignore me more, did you?" she snapped.

"No, no it's just that – I didn't know what to expect, I guess I needed a bit of time to prepare myself. Because I love you, Lily, I do, I love you so much it makes me sick, and if I'm going to get you back I've got to do it properly, don't you see?"

"Not really, no," she said coolly, and he sighed.

"First of all – Daisy and I are just mates. Muggle relations stuff. I dunno how the paps found out where we were but they did and I wish they hadn't, but – they did, and we're just mates, alright? Just mates."

"I don't believe you," Lily spat. He shrugged, and it felt like a kick in the stomach.

"Fine, don't believe me," he spoke steadily and softly, "but you've got to believe me about why I didn't reply to your letters."

"Why didn't you reply to my letters?"

"I've been travelling."

"Oh really?"

"Not like Al travelling, but…" he trailed off, and set the perfume bottle down on her bedside table. She was suddenly aware that her hair, glowing in the bright sunlight, was completely dry. Albus was probably going mental downstairs.

"It's for work," Scorpius began, "This is going to sound like the shittiest excuse in the world, and it is a little bit but – I went undercover for two months in the European Parliament."

She cocked her head to one side and regarded him for what seemed like an age. The silence nearly swallowed him whole, but he waited whilst she thought.

"Like a spy?"

"Yeah…well, yeah and no…"

"You work in Muggle Relations," she needed to say it all out loud, to make sense of it, "and they sent you on some kind of mission in Europe, like a task or something? And that's where you met the supermodel. And you're just friends with the supermodel. And," she added as an afterthought, "you love me."

"I do," he nodded, "I love you."

She blew out her lips, pushing all the air she could from her lungs. He never said anything he didn't mean, she knew that. And he hated liars. He'd never lied to her. He loved her, she knew that. She felt it in her bones, in the bottom of her gut and the tips of her toes.

"Are you serious about this?" she asked quietly, steadily. He nodded.

"Even though you said it was too much, and we couldn't do it and the rest of it? Even though I'm still in school for another year, and I can't – I won't – despite all that?"

"You're…" he ran a hand through his hair, "Merlin's balls – look, Lily, I've tried living without you, I've tried just thinking of you as just my best mate's sister, but I can't do it, it's too fucking hard, being without you, not talking to you is exhausting, I'm exhausted."

"So we're getting back together because you're tired? Wow, how romantic."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, "Because I'll do it, you know I will."

"I dunno," she threw her hands in the air, "recite poetry, bring me flowers – whatever normal people do!"

"I don't want to treat you like a normal person, you idiot! You're not normal! You're a bloody… I dunno, you're the whole world, Circe, I don't – fuck it - I love you, let's get back together." A pause. "Please."

They stood in a heavy, loaded silence, during which Lily considered his words carefully.

"You broke my heart," she said very quietly, "twice. I don't do second chances very often, and this'll be your third, I…"

"If not now," he beseeched her, and she was dimly aware of the sound of Al coming up the stairs, "then some time in the future. You know we're supposed to be together."

The sun behind him flared and she was struck with the feeling that she would never forget this moment, not even if she lived to five hundred and three. Head spinning slightly, either from the heat or the intensity of the conversation she had just had, Lily took several steps forward until there was very little room between her and Scorpius.

"We're supposed to be together," she murmured. It was a statement, not a question. And then – "fuck it."

In an instance, her arms were around his neck, and her lips pressed to his. There were fireworks popping behind her eyes, and her blood was rushing through her ears, and nothing mattered anymore because he was right, wasn't he? They were supposed to be together.

There was a high pitched shriek from the doorway, and they broke apart. Albus stood there, hands on head, looking more than a little disgusted.

"_Bloody hell, you two_," he hissed, "can you keep it in your pants for like, five minutes, _please_?"

Lily, arms still locked around Scorpius' neck, giggled a little. She caught his eye, and he laughed too, great barks of laughter that made shivers run down her spine, and soon the sound of their laughter echoed through Lily's open window, and out into the summer sky.


End file.
